jueves, 17 de febrero de 2011

Love actually



Cuando estuve en Senegal, me fui con Jo, su mujer y sus hijos a pasar el puente de la virgen de agosto a la región de Mbour. Allá los cristianos, el 6% de la población, también celebran la Asunción. Como había que ir a misa y toda la ropa que me había llevado era en plan safari, color verde y caqui, y era la más blanca y la más hortera de todo Senegal (como podéis comprobar en la foto), decidí comprarme una túnica roja que, después me di cuenta, no hizo más que agravar mi situación: parecía todavía más gilipollas. Después de la misa, la más larga y calurosa de la historia de las misas, fuimos a una especie de chiringuito playero con hamacas colgantes donde se celebraba la fiesta....

Senegal es todo fiesta y color. En Senegal todo se celebra, la gente es simpatiquísima, todos bailan y tocan un montón de instrumentos (dos piedras, una piedra y un palo, dos palos... aunque suenan genial) y en general, son muy chistosos. Aunque de eso me enteré después, porque al principio, cuando les oía hablar en su idioma, el wolof, pensaba que se iban a cascar en cualquier momento. Es un idioma muy fuerte, por ejemplo: "Teemeer ak juroom fukk" que parece decir te voy a meter una hostia joder (perdón), significa: ciento cincuenta (así sin mas no ciento cincuenta hostias, no, si no 150, ¿de qué? de lo que sea, es sólo el número). Otras palabras suenan mejor y los niños al verme siempre me señalaban y gritaban "toubab, toubab" que me sonaba a mi : "reina, reina africana, gracias por venir", pero después descubrí que simplemente significaba "blanca, blanca". Y como yo no puedo quedar como una imbécil ni con los pobres niñitos africanos, aprendí una nueva palabra y cuando ellos me decían "toubab" yo les chillaba: "netkuñul, netkuñul" que significa "negro, negro", ja, ¡¡se morían de la risa!! y es que hasta los niños en Senegal son unos cachondos. Yo creo que pensaban la mujer blanca grande que fuma está como una jaula (pero sin los artículos: mujer blanca grande fuma ser jaula).

Además del wolof, al haber sido colonia francesa, el idioma oficial es el francés y aunque algunos hablan también inglés, la mayoría lo chapurrean como lo haría mi tía la del pueblo. El caso es que en la fiesta de la playa conocí a Louis, un tío muy majo y salado que no hacía más que sonreír a pesar de tener una paleta 2 centímetros más larga que la otra, allí no hay complejos, no señor. Al chico le gusté bastante porque, no es por ser creída, pero yo a los negros en general les molo, será por las caderas.... El caso es que no podíamos comunicarnos en condiciones porque él no hablaba inglés y yo no hablaba francés, pero lo que es la globalización.... me dice: "I love you" y yo pensé que sea lo que dios quiera: "I love you too" y se me queda todo serio y me salta: "I love you three" y cómo se reía, ahí, el tío con sus paletas todo pancho, jajaja.

¿Es o no es para volver? Ahora, cuando vuelva, llevaré hasta rimel....

35 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Jaja, me alegra las mañanas en el metro camino del trabajo!

Anónimo dijo...

Cada vez que me lo cuenats me parto de risa.. guapa!!!
Veritoooooo

María Marta dijo...

Bienvenidaaaaa María, al mundo de los blogs!!!
Yo también vengo amagando de escribir uno, pero... siempre pongo una excusa!!!
Y que Inés no se ponga celosa, porque leeré los dos!!!
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María dijo...

Un honor María Marta... espero que te guste, y anímate, es muy divertido. Un beso grande, la próxima vez que viaje prometo visitarte.

María dijo...

Anónimo!!! En qué metro se me lee?? qué ilusión!!! jajaja.

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